How to cope with social anxiety at the office party

Christmas is now just a few days away. For many of us it’s an exciting time of the year, but for some it can be stressful, especially if you suffer from social anxiety as the endless activities build up.

Anxiety is a feeling of unease and approximately a quarter of people will experience anxiety at some point in their lives. It can cause a number of mental and physical symptoms, such as difficulty sleeping, feeling out of control, a racing heartbeat and shortness of breath. It’s normal to feel anxious when you’re faced with something difficult or dangerous but anxiety disorders can interfere with daily routines and activities.

I think it’s fair to say there’s an expectation to go to work parties and other social gatherings during the festive season, but for people suffering from social anxiety it often feels like there’s no getting out of it. It can be a key trigger for anxiety and a source of many anticipatory sleepless nights.

There are, however, a number of steps you can take to ease any feelings of stress and anxiety if your Christmas party is still to come this week.

It’s perfectly okay to say that you can’t attend.

The first step is to decide whether or not you really want to attend the party. If you decide not to, make sure you have a strategy ready, so you feel comfortable making your excuses. Don’t leave it to the last minute to tell people that you are not attending as the lead up to it might make you stressed out.

Think about arrival time.

It’s better to arrive at a party on time or a little early, than to be fashionably late. Arriving early allows you to meet guests as they arrive, rather than walking into a large group and facing a long list of introductions.

Be mindful about the amount of alcohol you consume.

While alcohol can make you feel more relaxed, it can actually increase anxiety and stress. Alcohol can narrow your perception of a situation which means you don’t always respond to all the cues around you. If you’re prone to anxiety, it might mean that we interpret something as threatening when it isn’t. It’s therefore a good idea to limit alcohol intake. Drinking slowly, alternating between alcoholic or non alcoholic drinks, can help.

Pre-arrange your arrangements for getting back home.

By planning ahead and pre-arranging your journey home, you will give yourself a clearer structure to the evening and allow you to know exactly how long you will need to socialise.

Keep the discussions focused on non-controversial topics.

If you find small talk a challenge, it can be hard to know what to talk about at a party. While colleagues and drinks may seem like the perfect occasion to discuss what you really think about your boss or some other colleagues, remember that you will need to go back in work the following day.

Use the opportunity instead to get to know your colleagues better by asking them about hobbies. Ask questions and try to find common interests with others. Make sure that your questions are open-ended and encourage conversation.

While social anxiety can be isolating, it’s important to remember you are not alone and there will be others there feeling the same. With a bit of planning, your Christmas party can be just another night of the year, rather than a trigger of unease and worry.

And remember, if your feelings of anxiety become overwhelming, there is treatment and advice available. You can find out further information on anxiety disorders and the treatment available here.

Pablo Vandenabeele is clinical director for mental health at Bupa UK.

This article was provided by Bupa.