Why wellbeing must be the foundation of performance conversations

If we want people to perform at their best, we need to stop ignoring what's really holding them back.

Traditional performance conversations are broken.

We've all been there – that annual ritual where managers and employees sit down, tick boxes, rehash past mistakes, and breathe a collective sigh of relief when it's over.

Both parties leave feeling deflated rather than inspired.

The problem runs deeper than awkward meetings.

We've been programmed to approach performance backwards, focusing on what went wrong last year rather than how someone can flourish and contribute more in the future.

When someone isn't performing well, the default assumption is that it's the employee's fault.

But this ignores the complex web of factors that influence performance – from team dynamics and workplace culture to personal wellbeing and mental health.

Here's the truth that many organisations miss: if someone is struggling with their wellbeing, they cannot perform at their best.

It's that simple, yet we continue to separate performance from wellbeing as if they exist in different universes.

The wellbeing-performance connection

Think of a professional athlete who hasn't had proper nutrition, recovery time, or training before a big race.

No matter how hard they push, they're going to struggle.

Similarly, employees need their wellbeing supported before they can truly excel.

You wouldn't expect someone who's burnt out, overwhelmed, or struggling with their mental health to suddenly deliver exceptional results just because their annual review is coming up.

Yet that's exactly what traditional performance management does.

It tries to fix the symptoms without addressing the cause, demanding high performance whilst ignoring the foundation that makes it possible.

When managers dive straight into objectives, targets, and development plans without first checking in on wellbeing, they're missing crucial context.

Is the employee overwhelmed with their workload?
Are they struggling with work-life boundaries?
Do they have the tools and support they need?
Are team dynamics affecting their ability to contribute?

Without understanding these factors, any performance conversation becomes superficial at best and damaging at worst.

Creating psychological safety from the start

The most effective performance conversations begin with genuine care for the person sitting across from you.

This means creating psychological safety from the start – showing that this is a supportive discussion, not an interrogation.

Start by asking about wellbeing and work-life balance before diving into performance metrics.

Here's a powerful tip from one of our recent webinars: ask how someone is, then ask them again.

The first answer is often the socially conditioned "I'm fine" – it's the second answer that reveals the truth.

We're so used to glossing over how we really feel that it takes that second invitation to open up.

When people feel safe to be honest about what's really going on, you can address the root causes of performance issues rather than just the symptoms.

This shift requires training.

Not all managers naturally know how to navigate these conversations, and many find them awkward.

That's why at 3R Strategy, we emphasise the importance of equipping managers with the skills to have these meaningful discussions, rather than endlessly tweaking performance ratings and processes.

Moving from managing to enabling

Many organisations spend countless hours redesigning their performance management systems – adjusting rating scales, changing review frequencies, updating forms – but miss the fundamental point.

It's not about tweaking the performance management process but a fundamental shift in our approach and culture to create an environment where performance happens naturally.

When leaders prioritise wellbeing in performance conversations, something remarkable happens.

Employees feel valued as whole people, not just productivity units.

They're more likely to be honest about challenges they're facing.

They become more engaged and motivated.

And yes, their performance improves – not because they've been managed better, but because they've been enabled to do their best work.

A new way forward

The question isn't "How do we manage employee performance better?" but rather "How do we create an environment where people can excel naturally?"

The answer begins with recognising that wellbeing and performance are inseparable.

Next time you sit down for a performance conversation, resist the urge to jump straight into objectives and targets.

Start with the person.

Check in on their wellbeing. Create space for honest dialogue.

Remember to ask twice – it's often that second "How are you really?" that opens the door to meaningful conversation.

Because when we put wellbeing first, performance follows.

It's time we stopped treating them as separate conversations and started recognising them as two sides of the same coin.

Only then can we move beyond the dreaded annual review cycle and create workplaces where both people and performance truly flourish.